The advice that sounds helpful but Isn't
When you're unwell, advice finds you everywhere. From people who care about you. From what you overhear. From algorithms that have learned what you search for. Some of it arrives as a flood: too many tips, too many solutions, those you already know won't work for you or have already tried. Sometimes you're looking for any help at all and find nothing. Either way, you're sorting through it all while you’re not well, struggling to make it through the day, trying to figure out what might actually apply to you. Hope never dies, they say, and so you keep reading, searching, spending money and time on alleged solutions and cures. Online marketing has become incredibly sophisticated at finding people like you. The ads are personalized, persuasive, designed to speak directly to your desperation. They know which promises will resonate.
The tips delivered with the most conviction are often the ones that matter least. It might not be online marketing, it could be someone who tries to convince you what worked for their cousin will cure you, too. Or what they read somewhere, or what they've always believed about how bodies work. They mean well and they're offering hope because they care. But their insight doesn’t provide a solution for your situation, and you know it because you've already tried versions of it. You’ve tried to cure your insomnia with meditation, valerian, not drinking or eating after 8pm, not looking at your phone screen after 7pm, or switching off your wifi network.
What does listening to your body actually mean when your body is the problem? When your body has stopped being reliable? The advice assumes you have access to something I didn't have for years: clear signals, accurate information, a body that tells the truth. But some bodies don't work that way.
I've tried to listen to my body. I've been patient to the nth degree.I believe there's more than meets the eye, I believe in the metaphysical, I practice yoga and I've been on mindfulness retreats. I'm open to what most people dismiss.
And listening to my body still wasn't a solution when I faced a chronic health challenge. The real danger of this advice is that it places responsibility on you to tap into something mystical, your deeper wisdom, when what you actually need is investigation. A doctor or experienced practitioner who can read the data your body is producing but you can't interpret yourself. The advice makes it seem like if you just listen hard enough, if you're just spiritual enough, if you just tune in correctly, you'll get your answer. But that's a dangerous premise. It suggests the answer is inside you, waiting to surface, when sometimes the answer is outside you, in a test result or a specialist's office.
Then there's the wellness crowd. The ones posting about their routines, their superfoods. I followed some of them. I quietly admired them, envied them. I wanted what they had. I tried to adapt their lifestyle. But their approach assumed a body that works the way theirs does. I didn't understand at the time that my body had different needs. I thought if I just did what they did, I'd feel what they felt. I'd have their energy, their clarity, their ease around food. It didn't work because I had food intolerances to literally everything, including the healthiest of healthy foods. I didn't know that though and I assumed that not getting better meant I wasn't trying hard enough.
Finally, there’s the diet advice, the latest framework that promises answers. Keto, intermittent fasting, whatever the current trend is. Each one arrives with testimonials, enthusiasm, and largespread digital and traditional media coverage. Each one sounds like this might be the thing. And sometimes it is, for someone. But the advice treats it like a universal solution, as if results are guaranteed and you recognise yourself in needing some of the benefits - more energy, less discomfort. But it doesn’t account for the fact that you have a medical condition and your body might need something completely different. Or that what worked for someone else might be exactly wrong for you. And the timeline that’s promised rarely matches how bodies actually work when you have food sensitivities. I wrote about this in The body can recover, but it’s not a quick process.
All of this advice exists in the same space as actual desperation. You’re unwell and you’re looking for answers. You’re willing to try something because maybe this tip will be the one that turns it around. That vulnerability gets exploited, whether intentionally or not. The well-meaning friend passing on a tip with the expectation you’ll try. The algorithm that keeps feeding you new solutions exploits it. The industry built around selling hope exploits it.
And then occasionally, someone suggests something that actually helps and you think to yourself, I’ll give this one more try, I’ve got nothing to lose. In my case it was a tip from a friend to see an allergy specialist, and he didn’t offer me answers at first but asked the right questions.
If you're managing food intolerances and want support with both the practical and emotional side of it, I've put together a system that brings it all into one place. You can find out more here: https://www.nurtureandthrive.live/food-sensitivities-support-system
Or start with my free Food Sensitivities Starter Guide: https://www.nurtureandthrive.live/free-resources
About the Author
Nurture & Thrive is written from lived experience of managing multiple food sensitivities over more than 15 years. The content reflects personal experience of navigating symptoms, diagnosis, and recovery, and is focused on the practical and emotional realities of living with it day to day.